The future. The past. The scripts. The cast.
All that will forever be.
Call me. Remind me. Tell me of my family tree.
The stories. The facts. The affluence. The lack.
And, in the discovery, recovery, qi
channeled message received from Oliver on 3/25/18 at 8:47 p.m. ET US.
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Déjà Vu! So many instances of Déjà Vu have occurred in the last week and a half since leaving on my annual Translation Tour. Three while in Indianapolis and two since traveling on to Ft. Wayne, Indiana. All at the homes of, and with, family.
I rode the waves of these “feel it now,” “felt it then” moments. All so vivid. Like memories known. But how could that be? They’d just occurred. Or had they? The twist inside the turn intwined in the experience of now… or then… or both.
Moments ago, for instance. I was called away from writing this article to join my cousin, his wife and a neighbor who just stopped by to chat (at 9pm at night). The moment I sat down the rememberings began. I had already had these conversations, listened to the exchanges, played the role of out-of-town, visiting guest. This exact dialogue in the same living room, with these three individuals had happened before, and was happening again, now. Déjà Vu! Why now? Why this seemingly insignificant, ordinary moment and not one of triumph, surprise, or alarm? No idea. But it happened… was happening.
Another example was last Wednesday when I went bowling with my two nieces and their family. It was all too familiar – not as if I’d bowled in a similar place before, or had similar conversations. No. Not at all. What I was experiencing I’d experienced before; was undergoing anew – yet not new. Rewound. Replayed. Relived. It was surreal. It was real. Tho I didn’t say a word to anyone. I simply allowed in wonderment.
And, as I write these words you read in your now, the 1994, acoustic version of Hotel California, from the live album Hell Freezes Over began to play. This is a song that haunts my memory, and always brings me to a place of remembering what was and what is. It is a song that opens a portal into the familiar and the unknown. Phrases that take me back and drive me forward. What do I mean? Well, it is a long and sorted story; one better told in a novella or featured as a movie short. But here’s what I can tell ya.
Each line in the lyrics of Hotel California have meaning to me. Whenever I hear them I experience a moment of connection between the words and my worlds; experiences had in my now. For example, several years ago I realized the lyrics told the story of friends I had and their time living in Morocco. Then I heard it again while housesitting in Tucson, AZ for 6 months during a walk to the local University campus, and they resonated in what was happening in that very moment. Now, as I heard them again, there it is… the connection. Bells tolling in the room next door or the church down the street, or the University tower, the captain, candles, corridors, courtyards, and so on… all happening now. Right now. A modified version of Déjà Vu. (view lyrics)
Connections to the past come back to me as I float into and out of the lives of my family. Memories that lead me closer to myself. Not the self sitting here tapping fingers on keys, but the me that has been for millennia, and will be for millennia more. She’s becoming clear – etched within the make up of my family unit; make up applied to the character named Barbara… or Ana… or the many that came before and will continue long after. All me. Of me. For me
… in the rememberings.
~~~~~~ — ~~~ — ~~~~~~
Note: Banner / Blog page placeholder image is of a windmill in the backyard of the next door neighbor of my niece – taken through a broken slat in the wood fence – in Greenwood, IN on 3/17/18. To view the full-sized, original photo click here.