Chastity, Poverty, and Lenience

The only perfection of infinite measure is seeded in the imperfection of becoming.
The only obedience of genuine consequence is that willingly offered by self to self.
If achievement of becoming is a sapling of obedience, be lenient with those who cannot or will not accept the human experience thus fertilized by the nurturing of a liquid mind as you step from that material into that soulful, and in the doing unfurl your innate magnificence.

channeled message received from The Author on 10/8/20 at 4:44 a.m. PT US.

I am a mystic. I invite the freedom of curiosity without filter, without judgment. That is the first step in channeling one’s imagination in the forwarding of a more focused, logical, scientific examination of spirit.

As consciousness incarnate we are free to ask the questions of, What if…. As humans in search of more concrete answers we are free to postulate, the What, Why and How of things, all in query, in wonder of the otherness of other worlds.

As Shirley MacLaine once said, The world is show business. We’re all acting and singing and dancing our little parts. For those of us willing to suspend disbelief of all we are conditioned to accept as real, we begin to open to that otherness that exists eternal within all, and begin to discover the mystery and purpose of this thing we call life.

If you read any “holy” book, be it the Bible, the Talmid, the Qur’an, the Tao Te Ching or any writings of philosophy or that considered spiritual teachings or scripture you will find parables and symbolism pointing to the higher knowings of spirituality. It is the interpretation, the perspective of the reader, the conditionings of any given society that sway and mold our belief of what those words signify and represent. Yet, if we open to these texts with a willing mind and feeling heart we allow the greater expressions to translate through.

Our religions, all, have grown into vehicles of materialism and control masking the purer, truer, more evolutionary meanings and purposes born of such teachings. In my view, we’ve become addicted to materialism to the point of a loss of conscious awareness of who and what we really are. No judgement. No dirt. Just a willingness to accept the current conditions of our cultures.

In recent days I’ve become aware that without direct intention, simply by living a guided life, I have pulled back from the tether of that material, of conditioned thinking, and it was all positioning me to return to a space I was so called… my spiritual center, my core, my self void of and in conjunction with my human form. By means pure and synchronistic, I was arbitrarily reintroduced to the covenants of Christian conviction; such being Chastity, Poverty, and Obedience, and in the doing realized I, too, had been loosely living by those suggested methodologies of higher spiritual achievement for decades, unaware.

Let me begin with Obedience.
I’m not one who considers herself obedient to anything of man. Ask my parents (now in spirit themselves). They’d tell ya I was a sweet girl, an introvert, a talkative creative who questioned everything. Being kind and holding deep concern for fairness toward others I was not overtly disobedient. Just unwilling to simply comply because I was told to by some authority figure. As I matured, became a single parent, and began working in executive levels of big city, law firm environments I came to “succumb” to authority, as opposed to deferring as a willing obedient. The reason was simply; I had a son to take care of and I had to find a way to maintain my beliefs in a system of rules that required I do what those with the power told me to if I wanted to keep my job. Always clever, I found ways to merge the two, tho I must admit when push came to shove and my ways of attempting maneuver of and immoveable object, like a partner in a prestigious, New York City law firm, I let go and let those with the perceived brawn win.

Trading obedience for lenience, I was charitable and tolerant in my perception of these crazy human characters, all, who viewed money and materialism, power and stature as tools to sculpt the world for their benefit, their design, their ruling hand. Besides, I needed to pay my mortgage and feed my son. So I played the role in a script I had no editing rights to.

On to Chastity.
I’ll be brief, as it isn’t required I detail my sex life (or lack thereof) to demonstrate the poignant relationship this choice had in my uplifting, spiritual journey. I had back to back boyfriends from junior high school through college and on to the age of 29 when I married for the first and last time. In between there were two live-in relationships at a time I was of the personal opinion I would never marry (by choice) and probably never have children. I wanted a career. I wanted to become who I saw myself to be; a worthy opponent in the game of life. Though I love kids and consider myself quite compassionate, I felt having them would be unfair as I doubted I’d be able to care for them properly as I climbed the ladder of my expected success. Needless to say, life lessons divined overshadowed personal expectations as aligned, and in May of 1989 I married a gorgeous Egyptian man and got pregnant within weeks with my only child, a son.

Literally, from the day I married my husband things changed in the way he interacted with me. In retrospect, I was conned. His intention was to marry a woman who had a great job with money he could spend while attempting to implement his traditional values that what is his is his and what is mine is ours. Marital issues began right away and continued through the birth of our son. For reasons that are private I asked him to leave within weeks of the birth. During the next nine years he refused to divorce me, creating situations that were violent and destructive conditionally, emotionally, financially, and physically for both me and our child. During that time I refused to date. The reasons included (1) fear of repercussion as demonstrated when a male friend of mine was hung over an embankment in Astoria Park, Queens, NY, above the waters of the East River to deter further interactions with me, and (2) my desire to give my son any free time I had being I worked excessively and felt all attention outside of the law firm belonged to him. After the divorce my ex-husband quickly remarried freeing me from his binding claws of desired control. From then on I didn’t date because my son was what I politely refer to as a “wild child” and I couldn’t imagine any good man would stay in a connection where such challenge was evident. Then, after I found freedom in a more vagabond lifestyle these last five years, I haven’t dated because when I’ve tried the men entering as honorable left when their intent was confirmed as not in my best interest. Since having a child, I wouldn’t invite someone into my bed until they made a binding impression in my heart. That decision, effectively, left me celibate for over 30 years! ‘Nuf said.

Then there’s Poverty.
I was destined for greatness. I was really smart, streetwise, creative and clever in all realms except love. In love I easily surrendered to the feeling, expecting the other of my affection to do the same. WRONG! Not how it ever worked for me. I believed in love. I believed when you were in love the two became one in mind, body, and spirit and each gave to the other in kind because that’s how it works. So I gave… and gave… and gave, even with reciprocity as an infrequent visitor.

Even to my own son I gave until I had nothing more to give. I had that sought after career – a professional who had worked her way up into the secret upper echelons of some of this countries top law firms. I was good at what I did. Better than good. I was a craftsman in so many areas of expertise it got me notoriety in my field, top dollar in pay (for a woman, that is), and really interesting projects to spend my time on. Yet, between the cost of living, being a single parent without support of any kind, no relatives to offer a helping hand that lived nearby, I was the sole juggler of money and time in my family dynamic. Add to that a son with medical issues from infancy until early school days, and one who upped my expenses due to the challenging situations he generated, my money went as quickly as it came in. Finally, about five years ago I left to housesit and travel the United States and parts of Australia. I gave my house and my car to my son and supplement my travels with Airbnb stays. Being an independent business and marketing consultant for a couple of long-time clients, work all performed online, I earn just enough money to pay my minimal bills and effectively live outside the traditional system.

With this lifestyle of chastity, poverty, and lenience I have been gifted clarity of mind and of time to live in a space of pure existence. I don’t have the conditional trappings of most yet I live perfectly fine, sometimes even in luxury. I don’t have to report to anyone and my work takes only a fraction of my days so I am free to dive deep into thought and contemplation. Since 2009, even before in review, and specifically in the last four or so years this gift of chastity, poverty, and lenience has allowed me to awaken to the deep energetic connections at a level past the body and human mind into one of spiritual awareness of unlimited kind. It was only this week that I connected the dots between my self imposed celibacy, experience of life without need for much money, and release through tolerance and forgiveness with my ability to genuinely communicate with that unseen. For me, this goes back to the idiom that words matter, and those found in some of our cultures most relied on books of testament may just hold truths yet uncovered due to the noise of conditioning, control and induced perception of what being human, being incarnate, simply being is.

Continue to ask why, how, and for what purpose. Continue to explore the world in all its forms. What I suggest is there is so much more expressive, available, possible when one releases limitation and breathes in the wonder in the wholeness of being. I just happened to uncover it, in part, through chastity, poverty, and lenience.

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Note: Banner / Blog page placeholder image is of a dandelion, seeds yet blow, in the front yard of my home on Long Island, taken on May 22, 2013. To view the full-sized, uncropped version in a new window click here.